Perspective...

Perspective.  Is it gained or learned?

Here are the definitions:

Gain:  v. To obtain or secure (something desired, favorable, or profitable)

Learn: v. To gain or acquire knowledge or skill in something by study, experience, or being taught.

When it comes to something that matters the most, like God, family, or life lessons, gain is better than learn.  Now you may think that I am splitting hairs, but I believe that this fundamental difference could lead to a better way to help our kids understand the role of God and the family in their lives.  Let's start by taking the mindset of learning.

When kids learn something, by the definition above, they are taught by either reading or hearing something, experiencing something, or being specifically taught something by someone.  This is great for things like math, reading and other things that are important for development.  The problem comes during the processing part.  When we learn something either from being taught, by teachers or on our own, or by experience, we have just that, a lesson or an experience.  We have learned.  This is more surface level than the concept of gain.  When kids gain something, like wisdom, there is a sense of a deeper, core level, understanding.  

I am afraid that in churches we have settled for our kids learning about God.  We teach them, and they acquire knowledge.  They are taught that God is something to be studied.  The God they learn about through experience is boring.  They are taught that the miraculous and amazing stories that happened in the Old Testament are just that, stories.  They think of God as an impersonal entity that used to do really cool stuff, a long time ago.  So what do we need to do?

We need to teach kids, with God we gain something desired, something favorable, and something profitable.  God is not something to be studied.  The experiences with God are life changing and anything but boring.  We need to allow kids to wonder at the amazingness of God.  With the super hero resurgence of the last year, I am afraid the God in most churches is losing out to the Avengers in levels of excitement.  We need to remember that the God of the Old Testament who did all of those amazing things, is the God of today, who still wants to do amazing things.

We need to show kids that this God is exciting.  If God is not exciting in your life or church...the problem is you.  God is doing amazing things at my church.  People are growing in their relationships with Him.  Peoples lives are being changed, and I get to be a part of it.  I am gaining perspective on what God wants to do in this generation of millennials and their children.  We need to show them that God is not a science project, but is an actual being capable of rocking their world in the best way possible.  

There is a new product called Gain w/ Febreze.  Gain is a laundry detergent and it makes things clean.  Febreze is a product that makes things smell better.  I like the idea of this product.  It speaks to what we need to demonstrate for the next generation of people who are far from God.  Here is the lesson:  

We need to show people how to gain understanding when their life stinks.

Game On...

Every one who has played a sport knows this...

Practice is no fun.

It is all about the game.  It is all about when you hear your name called and you step up to the plate, shoot a free throw, or throw a touchdown pass.  There is just something different when the lights come on.  It feels real.  The pressure is real.  The emotions are real.  The excitement is real.  None of these things can be simulated in practice.  Not even the best coach, with the best intentions, with the best drills, can make a practice feel like a game.  Because it isn't.

Yet, there is a reason for practice.  It allows us to work on all of the individual nuances of the game.  It allows us repetition.  And it is this repetition that builds muscle memory.  Practice provides us situational awareness.  Practice allows us to mess up with no real consequences.  It is the ideal time to learn in controlled circumstances.

Here is the problem.  How many of us, as parents, allow our kids to practice?  How many of us work with them on their decision making skills with repetition, in controlled circumstances?  Do we provide our children the opportunity to fail in areas, that have little consequence on their future, so they can succeed when the game is on the line?  Do we put in the same amount of practice on their life skills as their baseball and soccer coaches do on their sports skills?

Here are the two pitfalls that are associated with this analogy.

1:  Bad News Bears (read drunk little league coach) problem:  BATTER UP!  This is the parental mindset that says, "We don't need to practice life skills.  Get out there and do them."  This is the mentality that kicks the baby bird out of the nest, even though the parent bird has never taught their kid to fly.  In my ministry career, this is the scenario I have seen played out.

Parent:  I don't know what is wrong with my teenager.
Me:  What's the problem?
Parent:  My kid is out of control.  They won't listen to me.  What do I do?
Me:  Did you talk about (insert bad behavior here) before they started doing it?
Parent:  No.
Me:  And you want them to listen to you about it, now that they have already made the decision to do (insert same bad behavior)?
Parent:  Yes
Me:  Too late.

(Ok, I was more polite, but the conversations are all remarkably similar in format.)

2.  Military Escort problem:  This is the parental mindset that says, "Games are dangerous.  My child can get hurt.  They could fail.  My baby can't fail."  This would be illustrated by the baby bird that spreads its wings and wants to fly, but the parent bird keeps blocking the way out of the nest.  The bird is wearing a helmet, knee pads, a life jacket, and a tether to the parent bird.  They are wearing so much safety gear that any attempt to fly on their own would be a disaster.

This is the parent that never lets their kids:
Hang out with kids from different backgrounds.
Watch anything other than PBS
Listen to anything other than "Wheels on the Bus"
Go to public school (I think I could educate my kid better than the government, however I am not scared to let my kids associate with people who are different than us in color, morals, or religion.)
Go to a dance with anyone other than a family member. (This is sad...and creepy.  But it happens.)

Here is the deal.  We need to practice life skills with our kids.  Then we need to let them play in the game of Life.  We need to let them fail as little kids when the consequences aren't so big, so we can correct them before they make the big mistakes, as big kids, when the consequences are life-changingly big.

How A Sticker Changed My Life...

At my church we have an incredible hallway for our Kindergarten through 5th grade kids.  There is a painted carousel. (Modeled after the historic one in the nearby city park.)  There are surfboards, a train, and even a car crashing through the wall.  All of this lights up and it is very exciting.  But there is one thing that until today was the bane of my existence.  We have a wall decoration called Sweet Retreat.  It looks like an ice cream shop store front.  There is a bench in front of it and either side is flanked with a candy pole.  Flowers beside the bench round out the cozy motif.  But there is one thing right in the middle of it that I absolutely can't stand.

There is an ice cream cone sticker in the middle of it all.  It depicts a lovely double scoop chocolate sugar cone that is even decked out with a cherry on top.  It looks great, good enough to even want to take a bite.  Why then do I hate it, you ask?  Because the sticker WILL NOT stay on the wall.  For whatever reason the surface behind the sticker will not hold on to it.  So my ritual, every time I walk down the hall, is to stick the ice cream cone back on the wall.  I have thought about repainting the surface, or just gluing the thing to the wall, but there is a reason I haven't done that yet.

You see, the sticker only peels back a little at a time.  It has never come all the way off.  So rather than fixing it permanently, I (and the church staff) just smooth it out and stick it back to the wall.  So in my estimation it is easier just to take the 5 seconds and smooth it out, than to take all of the necessary steps to fixing it permanently.

Until this morning, I really did hate that sticker.  I really didn't like the time it took to constantly straighten it out.  But then, as He so often does, God showed me something.  I am the sticker.  I am the one who is always peeling away from God.  I am the one who continues to draw away, even though I know my purpose is to cling tightly.  I am the one who God has to fix continually.

I am incredibly thankful for two things.  That God in his wisdom doesn't glue me to His side.  Because I think grace is a pretty cool thing.  Messing up is terrible, but the grace that comes from it beats anything else.  The second thing I am thankful for is that God just doesn't rip the sticker off completely. When I think of all of the times I have pulled away, God would be perfectly justified in saying, "That's it.  I am done.  I am just going to rip you off of Me and throw you away."  But He doesn't.  I am worth the time it takes to smooth out my wrinkles.

So now, as I realize I'm the sticker, I will continue to stick the sticker to the wall.  I may even smile about it as I remember that I am just putting myself back where I should be.

I hate "Woe is me" Christianity...

Ah, to be an American Christian.  The freedom to worship our Savior how we choose.  25 years ago, that meant we could say anything.  We could walk up to total strangers and say, "Hey, you are going to hell!  Here is a gospel tract."  People would take the tract, say thank you and either walk away or if we were lucky stop and have a conversation about their eternal destination.  We (I've only been a Christ follower for 15 years or so, so I have only heard about the glory days) were tolerated by people.  But then something happened.  Our society changed.  The rise of Political Correctness.  All of a sudden the one began to outweigh the majority.  If I was offended, it didn't matter if the other 300,000,000 people in the US were ok with something, I have a right not to be offended.

(Hold on Christians who are beginning to agree with me.  There is bad news on the way.)

All of a sudden, people were offended by the 10 Commandments.  And then the cross.  And then nativity scenes.  The courts began to tell people what religious symbols that could or could not be displayed in public on public grounds.  Then "Merry Christmas" was changed to "Happy Holidays."  This made us mad.  So mad we complain about it on Facebook.  We avoid certain businesses (Looking at you Disney...oh wait, they did the Narnia Movies?  Ok Disney, we are cool again.)  We fight in the political arenas.  If only our guy was in power then we would be ok!

Well, I hate to break it to the few who are still fighting the culture battle.  We have lost.  There may be a few skirmishes that will be fought, like in the Civil War, where people months later are still fighting battles because the news hasn't gotten to them yet.  We have absolutely lost the culture war.  Don't believe me?  Ask an average person who the most influential people are in society...will they say Christians?  Ask an average person who has the most influence in our culture...would we be in the top 200?  So here is my question, why do we think that we are relevant in our culture today, when we have things like TBN, BBN, and bad TV preachers who are the only ones the culture gets to experience in mainstream.  When the music that is put out to our culture is the "fluffy stuff."  (Meaning the music is feel good and uplifting, yet is only speaking to an insider audience.)

So what do we do?

We rejoice!  Wait...what?  This is what Jesus says, "Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.  Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven.  For that is your reward in heaven.  For that is how their fathers treated the prophets."

So here is the takeaway...quit whining.  They took the ten commandments away...boo hoo hoo.  They said we can't put up a manger scene...waaahhhh!  Get over it.  Whining is what my children do.  He took my toy....waaaaahhh!  It's not fair....waaaahhhh!  When is it going to be my turn...waaahhhh!  Whining just makes people want to ignore you.

The world should look at us and go, "we taken all their stuff, yet they are still happy.  They can't talk openly about their 'religion' but they are still adding followers.  We have started to tax the churches and some of them have closed their doors, but they are still meeting in record numbers."

What if American Christianity was known more for our ability to be content in every circumstance.  I think I read that somewhere...

I have recently fallen in love with Marbles.  I never gave any thought to them until a couple of weeks ago.  Since then I have studied how they are made, learned the different types, studied the history of them, and I can't get enough.  I find them absolutely fascinating.  I have a box of 54 sitting on my desk. Here is some of what I have learned:

Most marbles are made out of glass, either machine or hand made.

Some marbles are worth up to $15,000.

They have found marbles at Pompeii, in Egyptian tombs, and history suggests that they were even popular with early American Indians.

All of those facts are pretty cool, but they are not the reason I have begun to have marble fever.  The reason that I have marbles on the brain is because of a new book/DVD combo by Reggie Joiner.  The book is called Playing for Keeps.  In his book, he talks about using marbles as a measurement of time.  The idea that if we can see how much time we have left, we make the most of that time.  He points out that in basketball, football, etc. the game gets more intense and the focus is greater at the end of the game.

On my shelf sits a jar.  There are 527 marbles in that jar.  Those marbles represent how many weeks I have left before my oldest son graduates high school.  Each week I take a marble out of that jar.  Every time I take a marble out of the jar it reminds me that time is winding down.  I need to be more intense, more focused, because although we are only in the second quarter with him, half-time is approaching fast.

That is why I have a new-found love for marbles.  To me, they mean time.  Every time I see one I am reminded that time is always ticking away, and I need to be my best and give my best to my children in the time I have left.

Trevor