Game On...

Every one who has played a sport knows this...

Practice is no fun.

It is all about the game.  It is all about when you hear your name called and you step up to the plate, shoot a free throw, or throw a touchdown pass.  There is just something different when the lights come on.  It feels real.  The pressure is real.  The emotions are real.  The excitement is real.  None of these things can be simulated in practice.  Not even the best coach, with the best intentions, with the best drills, can make a practice feel like a game.  Because it isn't.

Yet, there is a reason for practice.  It allows us to work on all of the individual nuances of the game.  It allows us repetition.  And it is this repetition that builds muscle memory.  Practice provides us situational awareness.  Practice allows us to mess up with no real consequences.  It is the ideal time to learn in controlled circumstances.

Here is the problem.  How many of us, as parents, allow our kids to practice?  How many of us work with them on their decision making skills with repetition, in controlled circumstances?  Do we provide our children the opportunity to fail in areas, that have little consequence on their future, so they can succeed when the game is on the line?  Do we put in the same amount of practice on their life skills as their baseball and soccer coaches do on their sports skills?

Here are the two pitfalls that are associated with this analogy.

1:  Bad News Bears (read drunk little league coach) problem:  BATTER UP!  This is the parental mindset that says, "We don't need to practice life skills.  Get out there and do them."  This is the mentality that kicks the baby bird out of the nest, even though the parent bird has never taught their kid to fly.  In my ministry career, this is the scenario I have seen played out.

Parent:  I don't know what is wrong with my teenager.
Me:  What's the problem?
Parent:  My kid is out of control.  They won't listen to me.  What do I do?
Me:  Did you talk about (insert bad behavior here) before they started doing it?
Parent:  No.
Me:  And you want them to listen to you about it, now that they have already made the decision to do (insert same bad behavior)?
Parent:  Yes
Me:  Too late.

(Ok, I was more polite, but the conversations are all remarkably similar in format.)

2.  Military Escort problem:  This is the parental mindset that says, "Games are dangerous.  My child can get hurt.  They could fail.  My baby can't fail."  This would be illustrated by the baby bird that spreads its wings and wants to fly, but the parent bird keeps blocking the way out of the nest.  The bird is wearing a helmet, knee pads, a life jacket, and a tether to the parent bird.  They are wearing so much safety gear that any attempt to fly on their own would be a disaster.

This is the parent that never lets their kids:
Hang out with kids from different backgrounds.
Watch anything other than PBS
Listen to anything other than "Wheels on the Bus"
Go to public school (I think I could educate my kid better than the government, however I am not scared to let my kids associate with people who are different than us in color, morals, or religion.)
Go to a dance with anyone other than a family member. (This is sad...and creepy.  But it happens.)

Here is the deal.  We need to practice life skills with our kids.  Then we need to let them play in the game of Life.  We need to let them fail as little kids when the consequences aren't so big, so we can correct them before they make the big mistakes, as big kids, when the consequences are life-changingly big.